“Well, I saw a really cute guy in the bus this morning while coming to Ofiice. He is perfect for you”. I almost chocked on my food.
“WHAT???” Did I hear you right”.
“Yup, you did. Come on he is really cute and you will make a great couple. I dont know anything about him, but i’ll get his ID tomorrow, this way we can find out something else about him”
“Sorry , but I am really not inteested Sweetie. Can’t you see I am happy to be single.” We had this conversation while having lunch at the company cafeteria. I just dont understand why my married or committed friends are always trying to hook me up with strangers. It’s not like I am really old, I am just 25. Why is it so difficult to digest that I am happy without a boyfriend.I get so many “It’s hard to believe you are single” lines.
Even my best friend is trying to do the same thing.
“There is this really smart guy in my office who is looking out for a girl”
“So what? Should i try to fix the two of you. You can figure out if it works or not”
It’s not like I am averse to dating. I am not. But it has to be a gradual process, not someone else trying too hard to fix things up. It makes me feel awkward. I cannot do blind dates too. And finding a guy for yourself is difficult. I mean if I get a little interested in someone, most of the times it turns out that he is married or engaged.
I also get to hear a lot of,’If you start searching now, you’ll find someone in 2 years”. Why does it have to be this way? I do feel lonely sometimes, especially when you go to a get-together and it turns out that almost evreyone has turned up wiht their boyfriends or fiance’s or husbands. But I am not “Join a dating site” desperate. I know it will happen when it has to. But the thing that scares me the most is that I might have to go in for an arranged marraige if I dont find someone at the right time.
Violet, I know how you feel! We’re still so young, and I always think love should grow, ideally, like you say “But it has to be a gradual process, not someone else trying too hard to fix things up” that is really so right. I don’t feel comfortable with online dating or being fixed up because it has the con of pressure that you’re just looking for a date, as opposed to getting to know someone first. If people want to fix people up, they should at least do it so neither party knows, then there is no pressure or weirdness.
Hehehe – I knew you’d be here, Pete. 😉
I couldn’t agree more. Matchmaking is a vile pastime. If people are so bored in their own relationships that they feel they have to mess around with other people’s lives then there’s something wrong.
Time between me saying I don’t feel comfortable with it and accidentally signing up for an online dating site? About 6 hours 45 minutes. 😉
Hey Katja, WHERE ARE YOU sweetie? You dont blog like you used to 😦
hehe, Pete, do let us know about your “not so comfortable” dates 🙂
Good for you, Violet! This is good. I was very happily single before I met my (now) wife. I was able to make the most of being single, have more time for friendships, to work hard, to do stuff on my own, to just generally discover more about myself. I’m so glad I had that part of my life, and have no regrets. But I know I would have regretted being in relationships for no good reason other than having a relationship-dependency problem!
Then when I did meet someone I really wanted to be with, it meant that falling in love was all the more special because I wasn’t looking for it.
You stick to your guns and enjoy being single. Settle down when you’re ready, and not when everyone else thinks you should!
As an aside, (and I know this isn’t the point) someone who is happily independent, and not desperate to be matched up is a much more attractive person anyway…
Exactly my thoughts CM 🙂
CM is very wise.
And I’m afraid there shall be no not so comfortable dates, I signed up by mistake and am now just plain unnerved.
Still, I think we need to hear the story of HOW you managed to ‘accidentally’ sign up, Pete! 😉
I honestly thought it was just social networking, I could see the kind of flirty angle the site had, but I just thought it was being new and funky or something. Until I got in and realised, and got scared, and well, you know!
OK… hands up who believes Pete? 😉
*sits on hands*
Violet, I’ve not been blogging much recently. I just don’t feel like I have very much to say at the moment. I’m still around, though, both on wordpress and 20six. I’m off to Edinburgh for the Festival very soon, so hopefully that will give me some good blogging material. 😀
I’ll get you Katja, just you wait. I saw the abscence of hands there 😛
Pete, I don’t believe you. I am with you Huwie 🙂
And Katja, I will be looking forward to your posts 🙂
Well I’d have to say you are darned lucky to at least attract such opinionated gestures. Look at us poor boys, our friends pretty much fight over which girl they want for themselves, and not for their friends.. 🙂
In either case, no harm looking at the choices now is there? Take it easy, and the rest will follow.
Hey Hemanshu that is because the friends who try to set me up are already married 🙂
Anyway good to see you here…